Monday and Tuesday, after five days of being terribly sick, I was on a Road Trip for work to look at dining services areas at Iowa State, University of Northern Iowa, Iowa University and University of Missouri. Below is the account of those two days. I post it here because these sorts of things may inform a character or give an idea for a story later on.
Any way, recorded on the BlackBerry as we traveled.
7.50 am
Early again, as usual. Cant seem to actually get close
to on-time, so m sitting in the lobby of the Union,
sweating just a little because Ive been so goddamn
sick the last five days. Bodys not used to activity
and is not rebelling, but is terribly unhappy at
having to haul itself around now despite having lost
another five or six pounds due to illness. Not
recommended as a weightloss program, but Ill take the
loss anyway.
Wondering where the hell everyone else is. Did I miss
a message somewhere?
Temperature was half a degree up this morning, so no
real worry about fever. Fatigue might be a factor
later. Wish I could do some creative writing, but
theres plenty of work to do. Like capital expenditures
and employee benefits and other things Im sure Im
forgetting. Best see where the others are now...
8.36 am
The van is comfortable, roomy even. With the AC on Im
finally comfortable but for my undershirt being wet. I
hope that Im not stinky from the sweat, but theres not
much I can do about it until our first rest stop in a
couple of hours. The goddamn humidity in Lawrence is
killing me, making me sweat even more than I wouldve
on my own. Its embarrassing, but again, not much I can
do about it.
The tinted windows are dark enough that it makes it
hard to tell just how overcast it really is. Nona
thinks its supposed to be nicer in Iowa. I hope so.
Maybe I should call this my Hope Tour.
But thatd be silly.
4.15 pm
Entering grundy. County Iowa, where my cell phone has
been given a cease and desist order. The surrounding
countryside must be valuable land, indeed, for TMobile
to not allow service here.
Crossing over the Iowa River was a beautiful
experience. The trees had begun to turn their oranges
and reds in a spectacular fashion.
As for the Iowa State dining services, theyre running
about the same as we do. The weathers just as
miserable as Kansas with its fucking humidity. I spent
most of our tour dripping away and Im afraid that the
only impression I left with our gracious hosts is that
Im a big sweaty guy.
Ah well, fuck em.
10.30 am
UNI was a brilliantexperience. Theyve done tons of
renovating of their beautiful campus buildings over
the last five years with an eye towards creating
color. That means that each area has a distinctive
feel to it with fairly neutral room colors (earthy)
accented by splashes of color from the presentation of
the food itself and the plates and bowls it is served
in.
The quality of the food is shaky, but not bad. I was
looking for cut fruit to eat for dinner, but was
unable to locate any. When I went back for some mashed
potatoes, there werent any more and I was given the
impression there wouldnt be any more, either. The
customer is distracted and entertained by the
atmosphere and ambiance that is reminiscent of a 1960s
basement rec room and wont really focus on the quality
or portions. Of course, we Americans eat portions that
are too large by far. On the plus side, Northern Iowa
seems to be inordinately populated by pretty women
with large breasts. I note this only because I
actually observed it.
This was our last visit. of the day, but then we had
about two more hours on the road to Iowa City and the
home of the Hawkeyes.
Iowa City is a lot like Lawrence: built on a river,
lots of little local shops and businesses and rich in
history. We arrived shortly after 9.30 local time and
checked into U of Is hotel, which is part of their
student union. The room was comfortable and after a
call home, I went with the others in our group and our
host to a bar called The Airliner. A comfy little dive
thats been in operation since 1943 (though not
continuously) it was a nice end to a very very long
day.
Up at 6.30 to tour Iowas facilities, but first
breakfast (and coffee!) In the spacious and decidedly
empty River Room. With a wonderful view of the river
and ther itinerant ducks and geese, I dont know why
that cafeteria isnt better patronized. The food is
good, even by cafeteria standards, but Im told that
breakfast is declining as a business daypart all over.
Its true for us, and as a regional trend, its kind of
surprising.
We tour the great facilities until we realize were
running late again. Our entire trip has been roughly
half an hour behind almost from the get-go. So now
were on the road to Columbia, Missouri, where I
visited five years ago. Itll be interesting to see the
changes.
Now, Im going to see if I can grab just a little sleep
before we get there...
Probably not.
1.15 pm
.
Managed probably 20 minutes of nap with the sun on my
face. Almost relaxing...
Lunch at Uncle Bobs in Bloomfield, Iowa. Total bill
for five people 18.41. No one in the little mom and
pop diner was younger than 70, which added to our
punchy enjoyment of our --- rustic --- meal. We then
piled into our rented mini van, avoiding the sick need
to digitally photograph ourselves on the wooden steps
that run up to a four-foot tall plastic ice cream cone
and tried to drive out of town without garnering
further notice.
Passed a store called Aunty Grannys. Had to laugh and
shout Uncle Daddy!. Then I had to explain the whole
joke and reference Arkansas. Things are getting just a
little weird now. We are all loopy and tired, and none
of us really wear it very well.
Two more hours to Columbia....
Just passed two Amish horse and buggies on the
highway. God.
Somebody shoot me now. I have revisited my childhood
and found parts of it gibbering in anguish while
angrily fisting itself with lard for lube.
2.15 pm
I see little buildings set far back from the road with
For Sale signs posted that look like they could be
Spanish Missions. For leprechauns who sit atop street
lights and laugh at us humans who drive too fast while
talking on cellphones.
Told you it was getting weird on the road.
3.07 pm
The puffball clouds hang motionless in the sky, full
of aliens waiting for darkness who might then mutilate
some cows or abduct some local strumpet, leaving her
to explain to her redneck boyfriend that she wasnt
with another man all last night, it was them aliens
and they probed my ass.
What? No, I didnt like it ---
Well, maybe a little...
The weirdness continues.
7.05 pm
Finally, we are on the road back home. After arriving
an hour and a half LATE to Missouri, we toured their
facilities and saw some amazing things like the
outdoor tv for the swimming complex and a very cool
snack bar designed to bring research scientists
together and out of their labs.
But we all were tired and grateful when we loaded back
into the rented mini van and hit good old I-70. Still
punchy, we began to talk briefly about what wed seen
in common among all four schools along with KU. Then
it degererates quickly because at heart all
foodservice folks are comedians.
Now its quiet and the sun is setting as we race
westward to catch it. We wont but thats okay. Now its
just a point of pride to be able to claim we did this
trip in about 26 hours (not counting drinking or
sleeping time). I guess Im glad I was part of this
little band of merry adventurers, but I almost wish Id
been able to do this without worrying about home. In
my heart, I am a homebody. I enjoy getting out and
away from the daily grind, but Im always glad to put
my head on my pillow back home.
